Monday, March 31, 2014

Follies of Escapism


Even as the night burns on
And I long to find meaning
In this fleeting sanctuary
I find not a thing profound
In this blur of finality

I know not what I need
Only what I cannot grasp
Another day of this clarity
Prior to the coming haze
Of the editor's floor

The end of this clarity nears
And I only pray sleep will come
To shield me from this hell
I have once more birthed
From this angel's snow.

I have always known my folly
In this venture of escapism
Yet I anticipate the inevitable
Another passage to this station
Of timeless antiquity.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Me vs. “Normal”: Living with Bipolar as a Teenager



By Manoue
Bipolar-Story~ It all started really when I was 12. Most people would say that’s far too young for anyone to be considered bipolar, but then, I didn’t realise that was the case either. About midway through age 12, seemingly out of nowhere, I started to feel so extremely low. I would drag my feet through each day of life, wondering if I’d ever climb out of this emotional pit I had somehow fallen into. Not particularly helping my case, I didn’t listen to very inspirational music either. My playlist began to consist of singers exploring how negative their feelings were to heavy bass and whiny guitars. My friends were going through an “emo” phase, and so was I… or so I thought.
Half a year later, my 13th birthday arrived, along with a new year in school. I was in year 8 (7th grade) and the whole summer I’d been hurting on the inside. But something clicked and I don’t know what triggered it. That year of school, I completely changed. Suddenly, I didn’t care about school or grades or anything. My friends and I would spend most of our classes cracking jokes, passing notes and laughing with each other. But I was the worst. My laughter was out of control. If anyone would get into trouble for disruption, it would be me. But I didn’t care. I got aggressive to teachers and they all wondered what was wrong with me and what happened to that nice quiet girl who started secondary school the year before. My grades started to fail, but that meant nothing to me. I was on such a high, in the happiest place I could remember. My friends were out of the “emo” phase and from what I could see, so was I. I guess I wasn’t really depressed the year before. At least, that’s what I thought.
Year 9 was a mixed year for me. I’d sobered up upon looking at my end of year 8 report. I was in trouble, I was failing and I did feel like a failure. I dipped back into depression and low self-esteem and got stuck there. Some people self-medicate with drink or drugs. I did hit the bottle a bit and I smoked, but I masked my feelings for the most part with rock concerts. I would spend all my time listening to bands and looked forward to hearing them live. I tried to make an effort with my grades, but it seemed that I had lost out because of my time-wasting the previous year. I was also out of school a lot that year due to illnesses, which hindered my ability to catch up. I was destined to fail, and even some of my friends thought so too, though they wouldn’t tell me this until a couple years later.
Fast forward two years and I’d made a go of things at school. My mind was a mess, a constant jumble of ideas which I couldn’t shut up. I was distracted a lot, but I passed my exams and exceeded some expectations. I felt on top of the world, like I could do anything, be anything and achieve anything there and then. Whatever would take the average person 5 years to complete, I would be able to do it in a month, no sweat. So I piled on the plans, increased my stress levels, but still felt I had things under control. I was happy and my friends noticed it too. Some were happy for me, others confused. One actually made the observation that I was erratic. This was the same girl who had thought I would fail at school because of my manic and depressive phases aged 13 and 14. I didn’t believe her. I only realise now how observant she actually was.
Jump forward almost a year, and here I am. I’m 17 and a half and still switching between mania and depression. I’d never planned to talk about it because I had high expectations of myself and feared being carted off somewhere and having to put my dreams on hold. But, between the start at age 12 and now, two big things happened to change my life for the worse. So, now I see a counsellor. And it really helps to have someone non-judgmental and understanding to listen to me. I guess I haven’t really touched on this topic with him; we’ve only really discussed the two other things in my life. But still, any support is better than no support.


Dave's Avoidant Personality Disorder Story

By Dave

Avoidantpersonality.com ~ My name is Dave and I am 18.  I have recently been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and I am somewhat thankful that I have realized it this soon (although I keep beating myself up and blaming my parents for not realizing it at earlier stages of my life)  I have always been viewed as a 'wuss', and rightly so.  

For as long as I remember I have always felt extremely scared and inhibited in any new situation involving people.  Whether it was swimming lessons when I was younger, to the first day of high school, I have always felt terribly uncomfortable in social and public situations.  I have always felt inferior to every human being on this planet, even though I am very attractive, quite bright, athletically talented, and good hearted.  I have constant self defeating thoughts when around other people such as "I must look awkward" or "I'm no good" to more paranoid thoughts such as "WHY is everyone looking at me" "why are people saying things about me" "why are they laughing at me".  These particular thoughts would always run through my scrambled mind every time I would walk through the halls of my high school. 

My self esteem is so god damn low, I have never been able to take a compliment or even internalize the fact that I'm good looking.  Girls have always been interested in me, and since grade 5 I have done very well to reject them and push them away, not even giving them or myself a chance to get to know each other.  

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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Study: Teens Addicted to the Internet More Likely to Admit to Drug Abuse

Drug Free/Join Together~ A new study suggests teenagers with “pathologic” Internet use are more likely to admit to drug abuse.
“Not only did we find that specific personality attributes were important in both substance abuse and Internet addiction, but that Internet addiction remained an important predictor of substance abuse,” study co-author Georgios Floros told ABCNews.com.
The study, conducted by Greek researchers, included 1,271 students ages 14 to 19 on the Aegean island of Kos. They were asked about their Internet use, substance use and personality. The study included an “Internet addiction test,” which asked how often they stayed online longer than they had intended, how often their grades suffered because of the amount of time they were online, and how often they would act annoyed if someone disturbed them when they were online.
The researchers found the teens who reported substance abuse had significantly higher average scores on the Internet addiction test. Those scores were important predictors for past or present substance use, the researchers reported in the Journal of Addiction Medicine. “Targeting the adolescent population that engages in increased Internet use may be of benefit for drug abuse prevention programs,” they wrote.
The article points out that there is no agreed-upon definition of Internet addiction. The article notes the study found links between Internet use, drug use and personality type, but not a cause-and-effect relationship.

Ecstasy Use on Rise Again Among U.S. Teens: Report

By 

HealthDay News -- The number of U.S. teens who wind up in the emergency room after taking the club drug Ecstasy has more than doubled in recent years, raising concerns that the hallucinogen is back in vogue, federal officials report.
Emergency room visits related to MDMA -- known as Ecstasy in pill form and Molly in the newer powder form -- increased 128 percent between 2005 and 2011 among people younger than 21. Visits rose from about roughly 4,500 to more than 10,000 during that time, according to a report released Tuesday by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
"This should be a wake-up call to everyone, but the problem is much bigger than what the data show," said Steve Pasierb, president and CEO of The Partnership at Drugfree.org. "These are only the cases that roll into the emergency rooms. It's just the tip of the iceberg."
The SAMHSA study comes on the heels of a string of Ecstasy-related deaths. Organizers closed the Electric Zoo music festival in New York City one day early in August following two deaths and four hospitalizations caused by Ecstasy overdoses. The deaths came a week after another young man died from Ecstasy overdose at a rock show in Boston.
Ecstasy produces feelings of increased energy and euphoria, and can distort a person's senses and perception of time. It works by altering the brain's chemistry, but research has been inconclusive regarding the effects of long-term abuse on the brain, Pasierb said.
However, ecstasy abuse can cause potentially harmful physical reactions, Pasierb said. Users can become dangerously overheated and experience rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure and dehydration, all of which can lead to kidney or heart failure.
Alcohol also appears to be a factor. One-third of the emergency room visits involving Ecstasy also involved alcohol, a combination that can cause a longer-lasting euphoria, according to SAMHSA. Teens can become less aware of how much alcohol they've consumed, and also can be more likely to make poor decisions that lead to bodily harm.
The newest form of MDMA, the powder Molly, appears to be driving the latest surge in Ecstasy use.
The study relied on data produced by the Drug Abuse Warning Network, a public health surveillance system that monitors drug-related hospital emergency department visits and drug-related deaths.
MDMA affects a person's level of serotonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep cycles and is responsible for feelings of happiness and well-being, said Peter Delany, director of SAMHSA's Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality. Overuse can cause depression, confusion, paranoia, anxiety and sleep disorders.
The Molly that currently is on the streets is usually a very pure crystalline form of MDMA, Delany said. Users can snort it, mix it in alcohol or some other liquid, or take it in a gel cap.
Delany noted that the number of emergency room visits caused by MDMA pales in comparison to the 1.5 million ER visits linked to drug use every year, but said both the rapid increase and the age of the victims are causes for concern.

Agoraphobia: stop your avoidance behavior while you can

By Justin

Anxiety Really Sucks!~  I’ve struggled with agoraphobia for the past couple months. If you’re not familiar with agoraphobia, it’s the fear of being in situations where escape is difficult. Agoraphobia is typically lumped together with panic disorder because it usually begins with panic attacks (with your PD diagnosis, you’ll get a label of “with agoraphobia” or “without agoraphobia”). The rationale is simple: you have a panic attack in a particular situation, it scares you, so you start avoiding that situation. Over time, you may have so many panic attacks in so many different settings that you’re pretty much scared of going anywhere. At its extreme form, agoraphobia may prevent you from ever leaving your home (although I want to emphasize that agoraphobia is not simply a fear of leaving the house).

We all avoid things to a certain extent. Whether it’s shopping, going to the gym, attending social gatherings, or getting behind the wheel of a car, there’s probably something that makes you uncomfortable that you avoid when possible. That certainly doesn’t make you agoraphobic. It’s only once you’ve started altering your behavior in destructive or otherwise dramatic ways to avoid things that you may consider yourself agoraphobic. Trust me, it’s not pleasant.

How can you prevent agoraphobia? There are no surprises here – if you catch your avoidance behavior early enough, you may be able to prevent agoraphobia from setting in. It’s important to keep note of your anxiety triggers and watch for signs of panic attacks. If you do have a panic attack while you’re out somewhere, try not to run. Use coping techniques to overcome the panic attack without avoiding the situation. If you’re having your first panic attack or if you’re in a situation that is particularly scary for you, it may be hard to stay put. Running away is of course your initial instinct when you panic (hence the term “fight-or-flight”). If you have to run, make sure you come back to that situation when you’re more calm. Avoidant behavior is a way of training your brain to fear things. Let’s say you have a panic attack in the mall. If you run out of the mall as soon as the panic attack begins, your brain will interpret your surroundings as dangerous since it is in a state of hypervigilance and is looking for any cues that may signal danger.

My quick and easy advice: Don’t let your brain learn to associate external cues with internal anxiety. Unfortunately, that is much easier said than done. I know how hard it is to remain in situations that cause anxiety. But take it from me: it’s much worse to end up stuck at home, scared to venture outside.
How is agoraphobia treated? The primary method of treatment is exposure therapy. Yep, it’s not any more complicated than you’d think. Exposure therapy involves exposing you to the feared situations and encouraging you to stay there until your initial anxiety abates. At first, you may have supportive people there like spouses or close friends to help you, but eventually you should be able to face the situations on your own. The idea here is to undergo graduated exposure, where you develop a hierarchy of feared situations and start with the least scary, rather than flooding, where you would jump right into the deep end and face your most feared situation. Flooding can actually be harmful and just further enforce your agoraphobia.

For my agoraphobia exposure plan, I started by taking my dog for a walk around the neighborhood. I realized pretty quickly that I had just built up my fears in my head, and I was not actually afraid to leave the house after all. So, I decided to take it a step further and leave the house for a therapy appointment. It was a little scarier because I had to stay in one place, but I knew it was for my benefit in the end so I managed to get through it. The third thing was going to get a haircut, which was a bit of a leap. I find haircuts quite awkward on a good day, so with the added threat of a looming panic attack in the mix, I thought it was a recipe for disaster. I got through the appointment without a panic attack (and with a nice new ‘do). It was a great accomplishment, but left me feeling exhausted (even though I never quite reached the panic attack threshold, I wanted to run out of that hair salon the entire time I was there). Over the past week, I’ve managed to go out for dinner, join a gym and workout in public several times, and sit through two anxiety group sessions. Even just a month ago I never thought I’d be able to do any of that without having a panic attack. The exposure therapy really works well if you can stick to it.

If you’re having troubles with the exposure, maybe take it a little bit slower. I was lucky because my agoraphobia is quite the recent development, so I didn’t have too much trouble re-training my brain to feel comfortable in potentially inescapable situations. For many people, their agoraphobia has gone on for years, and thus can be quite difficult to overcome. If you fall into this category, then take things slow. Start by going out around the block with a loved one. Keep doing this for a couple weeks, at least until it no longer elicits a strong anxiety response. It may take months, but it will be worth it in the end when you have the freedom and control to engage in a variety of activities at your leisure. It’s worth noting that exposure therapy will not necessarily “get rid” of your anxiety. There may be situations that will always cause you some anxiety. Treating your agoraphobia will not eliminate your anxiety, but rather will allow you to regain control of your life.




Wednesday, March 26, 2014

My Divorce Story

By Creigh

Divorce & Teens~ I had just come home from the last day of school in my 10th grade. I checked the answering machine for new messages and I found what I had least expected - a message from my mother's divorce lawyer. Even though all the warning signs had been there, I was still surprised. Things were bad between my parents, and my mom had already threatened to divorce my dad once that year. They started going out on dates again afterwards, though, and I thought they were past all that. Before things turned sour, I thought my family was completely normal. One of my friends had even commented that my family was perfect. It turns out, not so much.

My parents officially divorced that September, although we waited to move until two weeks later. It was an abrupt transition - one day I was living among the piles of boxes at my house, and the next I was sleeping on a mattress on the ground in a foreign house, going to a completely different bus stop in a different neighborhood. My 17th birthday was only a matter of months after the divorce, and it was a nightmare. Both of my parents were there, along with most of the family on my mom's side. Everyone tried to pretend that everything was normal, but it wasn't. Some of my relatives wouldn't even come, just because my dad was there. The tension was almost unbearable. I've kept events like that separate ever since.

That whole first year after the divorce was really stressful for me, although I settled into a routine after about six months. I couldn't stand conflict in any form, not even during classroom debates or watching TV shows I'd previously enjoyed, like NCIS. I ignored my own stress, and used the poor coping technique of taking on other people's problems to avoid dealing with my own (a bad idea, as I eventually learned). I was juggling both my problems and my family's problems, along with a heavy load of advanced school work. I almost broke under the pressure. The fact that I didn't talk to anyone about the divorce at first, worried that it would reflect poorly on my parents, probably didn't help my stress levels. I'm grateful that I at least used the positive coping mechanism of keeping a journal about my experience, which I think really helped me manage stress. My journal kept me sane.


In that first year I ran into a lot of changes, both good and bad, that I had never encountered before. My parents both started dating soon after the divorce, a change that I found quite strange and even stressful. My mom made an effort to spend more time with my sister and me and started cooking family dinners, which was one of the rare positive changes after the divorce. However, I had trouble finding time that my dad could spend with me at first, even though he only lived three miles away. I fought to maintain a relationship with him, but what little time we spent together was often tense. 

It was only in second year after the divorce that I started talking about the impact of the divorce on me, and I've just recently stopped censoring what I tell my friends. Even private people like me need a support system, though, and since you can't grow one overnight, I ended up seeing a therapist. I can honestly say that it helped a lot and I wish I had made the decision to see one earlier. 


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Feeding Frenzy: How To Deal With Binge Eating

By Sunny Sea Gold


Teen Vogue~ When I was sixteen years old, I sold candy bars to raise money for my junior class student council. After carting them around all day at school, I finally gave in to my chocolate craving and had one. Then two. Then three, four, five. Despite feeling sick to my stomach, I couldn't stop. I ate half a dozen 100 Grand candy bars that afternoon, and then spent the evening trying to make myself throw up.
I'd been obsessed with dieting and calories since I was thirteen, and any attempts to resist junk food always ended with me eating stuff by the bag, box, and tub; but after downing those candy bars that day, I knew something was wrong. I didn't have anorexia, because I wasn't starving myself, and I didn't have bulimia, because I couldn't actually get myself to purge.
It turned out that I had something I had never heard of before: binge eating disorder (BED), an illness characterized by frequent overeating during which you feel out of control and then very upset afterward. And I wasn't the only one suffering from it. Despite the fact that people don't talk about it as much, BED is more common than anorexia and bulimia combined: A study last year by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 1.6 percent of all American teens have it, compared with 0.3 percent who have anorexia and 0.9 percent who are struggling with bulimia.

Kelsey, a seventeen-year-old from Philadelphia, recently discovered that she's one of the hundreds of thousands of teen girls dealing with BED. "A typical binge will go something like this: I tell myself I'm only going to have one cookie, but it turns into ten," she says. "After I eat those, I'll grab some chips because I want something salty. Next thing you know, I'm standing in front of the fridge eating leftovers. Then I'll want something sweet again, so I'll have a couple of ice cream sandwiches and some cereal." She confesses that she repeatedly raids the fridge and cupboards although she's not hungry, and even when she's already full. "It's as if I'm on autopilot— just shoving all the food in—and before I realize it, I've eaten a ton," she says. Too ashamed to binge eat in front of others, Kelsey waits until she's home alone: "When my mom leaves, I sometimes go straight to the kitchen so I can have a huge pig-out with no one around."

Of course, everyone overeats once in a while—accidentally finishing off a big bag of chips while watching TV or having seconds of pie at Thanksgiving—but binge eaters' behavior goes way beyond that. "The key issue that distinguishes binge eating disorder from the normal overeating we all do is the loss of control, and one sign that there may be a binge eating problem is if it causes distress to the person and interferes with her life in some way," explains Cynthia Bulik, Ph.D., director of the University of North Carolina Eating Disorders Program and author of the bookCrave: Why You Binge Eat and How to Stop (Walker & Company). "This could mean not going out with friends to eat, avoiding social situations, like parties, in which there is food, and choosing to stay at home with your binge foods over going to school or an activity."
For Kelsey, who's currently in her senior year of high school, overeating is definitely getting in the way of her happiness. "I binge eat almost every day and I feel disgusting," she says. "I've gained fifteen pounds in the last few months, and it's a struggle to get out of bed every morning. When I look in the mirror I want to cry. None of my clothes fit anymore, so now I just wear sweatpants and T-shirts to school and no makeup. I've lost all my confidence."

He's Justin Bieber: Or So He's Been Told

Dr. Peggy Drexler

Bieber's mug shot from January 2014 
Huffington Post~ You could say that Justin Bieber's recent arrest was inevitable. At the very least, predictable. His bad behavior, after all, has been escalating for a while. Last summer, he was caught on camera squirting cleaning fluid and shouting expletives at a photograph of former president Bill Clinton. That same night, he urinated into a mop bucket used to clean restaurant floors. In November, he got into a Twitter feud with the president of Mexico. Last week, a neighbor alleged Bieber pelted his house with 20 eggs, prompting a police investigation, and just three days ago, the 19-year-old racked up a $75,000 tab at a Miami strip club. Could reckless driving be far behind?

And yet, when he was arrested -- for driving under the influence and drag racing, along with resisting arrest -- he displayed, or so it seems, none of the panic another his age might. Among his comments to the officer who pulled him over just after 4 a.m., in fact: "Why the f**k are you doing this?" and "I ain't got no f***ing weapons" (well, thank goodness for that). In his mug shot, he grins broadly. And why wouldn't he? After all, he's Justin Bieber, or so he's been told.
Since being discovered at age 12, Bieber has grown up on a wave of popularity. His fans are among the most loyal and devout in all of entertainment, and he's got the world's second-most followed Twitter account -- ahead of the leader of the free world at number three. But just as Bieber's not the only one responsible for his success, he's not the only one to blame for his arrest. Celebrity is a narcissistic business, and there's millions to be made off of the cultivation of narcissists. Since Bieber entered the business, his career has grown at the hands of music executives who stood to make a profit on his popularity, not his mental health. He has been surrounded and supported -- raised, you could say -- by professional ego-boosters.
While many celebrities come into the business with narcissistic tendencies that cause them to seek out fame, money and adulation, the entertainment industry does a pretty good job turning the narcissistically-inclined to sufferers of full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, a condition included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Those with it may display such characteristics as having a grandiose sense of self-importance and a belief that you're extraordinarily special or unique. People with NPD have a strong sense of entitlement and lack empathy. There is a preoccupation with money, power or fame. There is no thought to consequences.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Sophie's Story: Surviving Anorexia


My Life With Anorexia~ My daughter started down the path to anorexia nervosa sometime late 2009. I can say that now with hindsight and being able to recognise the symptoms. Compulsive, obsessive, perfectionism, almost hysterical outbreaks if something didn’t suit her. Rarely eating dessert or cake. She was just turning 15.

At the beginning of 2010 Sophie started to make changes to her diet. This is what first alerted me that something wasn’t right. She wanted to eat healthy, questioned what was in each food, refused all ‘junk’ foods. There was a pattern of foods questioned for health purposes suddenly disappearing off her diet even if the food was a ‘good one’. At first she was relatively calm, but as weeks progressed she would react over-the-top if any of the forbidden foods were offered.

I am positive now, that she stopped eating her school lunches sometime around March and just threw them away. I first put her on the scales at home mid March and she had lost around 2-3kg – not a huge loss, not something to really worry about. But the intensity and difference in her was more than enough to say something was different. A doctor wouldn’t have diagnosed anything at this stage either. So I just kept watching.

By the end of April, Sophie stepped up the process. Carbs were now not allowed – no bread, rolls, pizza, fried foods, noodles etc. Lunches were now only a yoghurt and fruit. Her weight by the end of April was now down 4kg. I was now pushing her to eat, trying to break through what was going on. She was getting depressed, had outbursts of anger, and if angry refused to all her food. It was like my daughter was disappearing into another parallel. She was physically present, sometimes her normal self, functioned at school and at home, but mentally and emotionally lived in another world.

Mid May she let slip her last period was in March. Her food portions were slowly getting smaller. The June long weekend was the crunch point. She was very down, ate very slowly, ate not a lot. We were in the doctor surgery on the Tuesday afternoon. Again she didn’t have enough to say she had an eating disorder, the indicators were there but she wasn’t ticking off the main criteria. Her depressive state was also a concern. Thankfully the doctor scheduled weekly visits, I am very grateful he didn’t write Sophie off as a ‘teenage thing’.

THE AWAKENING


Elle~ Having taken Ambien for insomnia since college, Amanda FitzSimons set out to discover what medical research had to say about the risks of her beloved sleeping pill. The answers just might keep you up at night.

Addiction to sleeping pills. As I type this, that phrase sounds so scary and cliché, the stuff of a Lifetime movie starring Meredith Baxter, crying alone in a dark apartment amid empty bottles of Southern Comfort. What I have, or at least the way I prefer to think of it, sounds a lot less harmful: just one little pill to help me go to sleep at night…every night.
I, like tens of millions of other Americans, take Ambien or its generic equivalents (zolpidem is the active ingredient), which makes the drug by far the country’s most popular sleep aid. When I first got a prescription, I was suffering from what doctors call "acute insomnia," i.e., a string of nights in which I stared at the ceiling for hours before finally being able to get some shut-eye. If this pattern of taking more than a half hour to fall asleep at least three nights a week persists beyond a month, it’s considered chronic. But, honestly, I wouldn’t know if that applies to me anymore. Having taken the pills for three- to six-month stints, with short breaks, over the past five and a half years, I’m like a person who’s been highlighting her hair so long she doesn’t know what her natural color is.
Ambien has gotten a lot of bad press recently for its adverse side effects: Kerry Kennedy crashed into a tractor-trailer on a New York highway, her explanation being that she'd mixed up her pill bottles and taken zolpidem instead of thyroid medication; then there was Tom Brokaw blaming an uncharacteristically loopy TV appearance on being under Ambien’s influence; and, in January, the FDA’s surprising recommendation that dosages be cut in half for female patients based on lab studies and driving tests that confirmed 
a risk of next-day drowsiness. (Women eliminate Ambien at a slower rate than men, the FDA said, and some still have enough in their system after eight hours to impair driving.)
But apart from an isolated incident in which I sent a PDF of a fan letter I'd received from a prisoner to an ex-boyfriend hoping to incite his jealousy (in case you're wondering, it didn't work) and some very vivid dreams, I can't complain about any side effects, not even the next-day hangover experienced by up to 8 percent of users, according to Ambien manufacturer Sanofi. And the truth is, for putting me out of my up-all-night misery, I can't sing the medication's praises enough: Almost every time I pop an Ambien, I fall into a warm, fuzzy, Serta commercial–quality slumber within minutes and sleep soundly for the entire night.
While I've always been a chronic ruminator—and had the occasional sleepless night throughout my adolescence—taking prescription sleeping pills never occurred to me until my senior year of college, when the uncertainty of postgraduation life sent me into an insomnia tailspin. After watching me repeatedly take Tylenol PM in vain (my body felt like it had been hit with a tranq dart, but my mind was still racing), one of my suite mates, who was something of a psychopharmaceutical adventuress, told me to look into Ambien. Her delivery—calm, nonchalant, no fine print—sold me. The way she made it seem, taking Ambien was about as risky as taking a daily vitamin. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I wondered, and made an appointment to see a doctor the next day.






'Black Swan': Psychiatrists Diagnose Ballerina's Descent


ABC NewsBlack Swan, a new psycho-drama anchored in the competitive world of ballet, is getting as much analysis on the psychiatrist's couch as it is Oscar buzz.
The Golden-Globe nominated film takes viewers deep into a ballerina's descent into madness in a frightening portrait of psychosis that doctors say resonates realism.
Nina Sayers, a fragile and repressed ballerina, played by Natalie Portman, strives for the lead in Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake," a role that will require her to play both the gentle white and the seductive black swans.
But in the process, she will have to shed her "sweet girl" persona and embrace her darker side to fully embrace the role and to please her demanding and sexually aggressive director.
Her metamorphosis is so complete, that Nina eventually develops webbed feet, bird-like legs and sprouts feathers and wings to actually become the black swan.
"It was intense and disturbing and fascinating and mysterious," said Nadine Kaslow, vice-chair of the department of psychiatry at Emory University and psychologist to the Atlanta Ballet. "What was a hallucination and what was real? When people are psychotic, it's difficult, even as a therapist, to know what's real and what's not."
Nina, who constantly strives for perfection, lives with her controlling mother Erica, played by Barbara Hershey, who gave up dance to have her daughter. They live in a tiny New York City apartment, cluttered with her mother's narcissistic paintings.
When the ballet's artistic director decides to replace the aging prima ballerina for the new season production of "Swan Lake," Nina is his first choice. But she has competition in new sexually open dancer Lily, played by Mila Kunis.
After securing the role, Nina is asked to "lose herself" to play the black swan, and so she does.
In visual hallucinations, she sees a black-clad version of herself across the subway platform and again in the maze of hallways at Lincoln Center. Even the pink stuffed animals that adorn the bedroom she shares with her neurotic mother seem to come alive and mock her.
She conjures up an array of fantasies and delusions, including a lesbian love scene with Lily.
"As a movie fan, it held my attention," said Dr. Steve Lamberti, professor of psychiatry at University of Rochester Medical Center. "It was poetic in a way, showing this transformation gone wrong."
But speaking as a psychiatrist, Lamberti said the film did not accurately depict schizophrenia, as has been widely speculated, but "does present a reasonable portrait of psychosis."
"People tend to be scared of things they don't understand," he said. "If you have never treated or observed a person with psychosis, it's upsetting."
Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality that usually includes false beliefs or delusions, and seeing or hearing things that are not there.
Like a fever, psychosis is a symptom rather than a disease, and can be caused by a variety of triggers: exposure to mercury (the hats of the Mad Hatter were impregnated with the heavy metal), drugs like amphetamines, epilepsy, a brain tumor, dementia or psychiatric disorders like schizophrenia.

Psychosis Usually Involves Auditory Hallucinations

But unless psychosis is due to neurological causes, patients normally have auditory, rather than visual hallucinations.
"In terms of cinematography, it's much easier to portray the visual," he said. "Whispers are not nearly as dramatic as seeing something."

Monday, March 24, 2014

The Disturbing New Face of Heroin Addiction: A Teen's Harrowing Story



Katie Couric~ We usually think of a heroin addict as some strung-out junkie with needle tracks and no way out. But today, there's a very different face of heroin. It's affecting all-American kids in suburbia who started by taking pain killers, often prescribed by their family doctors. Those pain killers then lead to abuse of heroin, one of the most dangerous and addictive street drugs out there. That's exactly what happened to Zack Johnson, from a suburb of Boston, and since then his life has been turned upside down.




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I Battle Histrionic Personality Disorder


Experience ProjectAlrighty...  I was just recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and narcissistic and histrionic.. However you spell it. What I battle with most is being alone because eventually I'll find your weaknesses pretty quickly I'll know all your secrets and then if you hurt me once I will make you feel like you want to die ill make you feel like nothing. I have the wonderful capability of manipulation and I manipulate people to get what I want and I can change myself whoever I'm around I can be exactly who they want me to be. The biggest part I struggle with is that borderline personality disorder we somehow do not have this capability to find value in ourselves or love ourselves. So for me I try to find it through men and after many failed relationships, i'm in my late 20s and I've been married three times. Always with men who are either sociopaths emotionally abusive or physically abusive... I ever wonder will I ever love myself just because I love myself. Will this Always be impossible for me to do? When I love someone I love them hard and deep and fast but if they don't show me affection all the time don't text me withhold sex for me I will immediately go into the biggest depression and not be able to get out of it for weeks. Then I'll hurt them I will hurt them for not loving me and not accepting me and I will ruin them and run them into the ground without a care. Sometimes I feel bad about it later other times I don't. I can tell people exactly what they do not want to hear and I push their buttons and I like seeing them hurt and going over the edge and breaking. Yet on the other hand I can be the best friend that you've ever had I'll pick you up at 2 o'clock in the morning I'll listen to you whine and cry and I may not actually give a **** but I pretend to.... Yet I get so mad when you actually don't love me and I cry a lot. I Enjoy pain a lot which I think is really weird I have over 25 tattoos a **** ton of piercings and it's still not enough pain.... I graduated college I had amazing jobs that pay a lot but I never stick with them and I was finding excuse to quit I just wonder if I'm ever going to actually get my life together or is this the path that I'm going to keep taking over and over again for the rest my life... Yet through all of this I just want attention either good or bad I just want you to know that I am there and for some reason I care about what you think about me so much yet at the same time I don't give two *****

N.Y. teens' mystery illness labeled 'conversion disorder'

By Sharon Jayson

USA Today~ It's a term used so rarely that most of us haven't heard of it. Even mental health professionals say they have read about it in textbooks rather than seen it up close.

But the mysterious symptoms of facial tics and verbal outbursts afflicting 12 teenage girls in the small community of LeRoy, N.Y., has brought new awareness to a very unfamiliar stress-related condition referred to as "conversion disorder."

Conversion disorder is characterized by problems with voluntary motor or sensory function that suggest a neurological or other general medical condition but aren't fully consistent with known biological causes or explanations, says David Fassler, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the University of Vermont in Burlington. He says such outbreaks are more common in women and are associated with stress or anxiety. The girls began exhibiting symptoms last fall.

Neurologist Laszlo Mechtler of the Dent Neurologic Institute in Buffalo, who has treated all but one of the 12 girls, says tests have ruled out medical disorders, diseases and environmental factors. "These young ladies are individuals who come from a small community. One may have had a significant symptom, and it was like a wildfire."



Friday, March 21, 2014

Luann's Bird Phobia



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Eric's Story: Teen PTSD

AnxietyBCEric is a 13-year-old boy who was always very outgoing and had lots of friends in school. About a year ago, he dropped out of soccer and karate lessons, even though he used to love both activities. He started staying at home after school instead of seeing his friends, and arguing with his mom about going to school. Eric also started calling his mom many times on her cell phone whenever she left the house.

Eric's problems started after a trauma he experienced about a year ago. While driving to the mall with his mom, a car ran a red light and hit the side of their car. Eric's mom's car spun several times and hit a tree. The driver of the other car suffered a serious head wound. Luckily, neither Eric nor his mom were hurt. Eric said that he could still remember what the man in the other car looked like with blood trickling down from his forehead to his face, "like a color picture in my head".

After the accident, Eric was terrified of being in cars. He was even afraid of walking down the street, saying that there are "crazy drivers everywhere", and he was worried that he would get hit by a car. When he does leave the house, he insists that his mom come with him, and he becomes very anxious when she is out of his line of sight. Eric also has nightmares about car crashes, and he says he keeps having thoughts pop into his head about the accident. He gets very anxious when he hears a car horn honking, or if he sees a news article about car accidents. He no longer watches the news or TV shows that contain any violence.



Thursday, March 20, 2014

Heading Off to College with ADD


ADDtitude~ Transitions. I’m not good at them. No one with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) is, or so I have been told. Just when we get the routine, the laws and orders of a particular situation, we move on to a new place, and…“I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY WORLD!”
That was me, age 3 or 4, on vacation in sunny California, where nice relatives wanted to take me to Disneyland. All I wanted was home, sweet home, deep in Texas. And my cat. Nothing else. Well, maybe some Nerds.
As I write this, I am looking forward to high school graduation, and to starting college at the University of St. Thomas, in Houston. I am a solid B (and occasional A) student — no small accomplishment, especially for someone with ADHD. What’s weird is that I resisted enrolling at my high school, but it was the best decision my parents ever made. My school worked with me to cope with ADHD, and stuck with me during a difficult period in my junior year. Every teenager should have such good teachers and counselors.
I’m a homebody, so it’s probably good that I’m staying in Houston, although I will be living on campus. My friends seem more daring and courageous, although at this point they are as much in denial about college as I am. Our parents keep asking where everyone is going and what we are feeling, and the answers are usually “Don’t know” and “About what?” I don’t think any of us will get too excited or upset until the good-bye parties start, and then it’s going to be “Oh, my God!” and a river of tears.
I wish I could offer some advice about preparation for college, but the truth is, I’ve been pretty dependent on my parents to help me with the major decisions. So my main advice is, have good parents. Then try to grow up and be responsible for your own life. We ADHD people sort of go with the flow, so I guess that is what I am doing in planning the next important phase of my life.
This might be a good time to let you know a little bit more about me, as I am heading into the adult world. First of all, like many teens with ADHD, sometimes I feel like a zebra in a herd of horses. “They broke the mold when they made you.” I’ve heard such comments ever since I was a toddler. “There may be others like you, but it won’t take long to call the roll.” You get the picture.