Animal Assisted Therapy for Troubled Teens

The phrase "troubled teen" is somewhat ambiguous, and can mean different things to different people. But essentially, it refers to a teenager who struggles with mid-level to severe emotional and behavioral issues. The teen may experiment with drugs or alcohol or even become addicted. The issues can be caused by any number of things, including an unstable or unsafe home life, or spending time with the "wrong crowd". Regardless of the reasons, a teenager who's emotional or behaviorally unstable can be a danger to himself, his family and his friends. Over the years, psychologists and counselors have discovered many effective treatment programs for troubled teens. One that is coming to the forefront is Animal Assisted Therapy - or the use of professionally trained animals as part of the counseling process.

Studies have shown that spending time with a friendly animal, even a short time like 10 to 15 minutes, increases the amount of endorphins that are released into the body and decreases the levels of a chemical called cortisol - which is a hormone that controls stress and arousal. Because many troubled teens are in a near-constant state of emotional arousal and/or stress, animal assisted therapy can help them feel calmer.

Most domestic animals also shy away from aggressive behavior. Animal assisted therapy can help a troubled teen learn that quiet, gentle behavior gets better results than behavior that is loud and aggressive.

Some people hear "animal-assisted therapy" and think that it means kids are simply hanging out with pets, but true AAT is a formal, planned program in which the teen participates. Interactions with the animal(s) are controlled, and are done for specific reasons. Facilities that choose to implement animal-assisted therapy typically conduct extensive studies and develop strict rules and guidelines for their programs. Far from being haphazard, these programs are focused and intentional, and often produce marked positive results.

Counselors have seen teenagers, even teens in juvenile detention facilities, that are unresponsive to the counselor open up and actually "talk" to a therapy dog or horse. Some are so overwhelmed by a therapy dog's unconditional kindness that they break down and cry. This kind of emotional breakthrough is vital in the treatment of troubled or at-risk teenagers, and allows the teen to begin moving toward emotional and psychological healing.

In the late 1990's, a study was conducted at the Institute of Developmental Psychology in Leipzig, Germany. The ten participants all had varying types and degrees of behavioral and emotional issues including eating and anxiety disorders.

Each teen spent 30 minutes with a therapy animal. The sessions were videotaped and reviewed, with each participant being observed for changes in four different response indicators: gaze direction, posture, behavior towards the dog and behavior towards the therapist. All ten of the participants showed significant behavioral changes when interacting with the therapy dogs.

For teens who struggle with substance abuse or addiction, animal therapy can play a vital role in their recovery. Addiction takes a severe toll on a person's psyche, including their self-image and their ability to trust. Introducing a trained therapy animal into the counseling program can help a teen begin to work through these feelings as the animal's presence and acceptance of the teen aides in restoring a positive self-image and ability to trust others and themselves.

Mayo guide helps parents spot teens' mental disorders

by Lorna Benson

A tool kit to help identify children with mental health disorders was published by Mayo Clinic — 10 years after the U.S. Surgeon General put out the call for a set of easily identifiable mental health warning signs for youth.

It took that decade for researchers to sift through all the studies, and interview more than 6,000 families and children, in their quest to figure out the easiest way to identify the most serious mental health disorders.

The report identifies 11 signs that require immediate action. They include severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships, intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities, sadness that lasts more than two weeks, or sudden and overwhelming fear brought on for no apparent reason.

Dr. Peter Jensen, a Mayo professor of psychiatry and one of the authors of the new guidelines, said the family interviews were especially helpful because they revealed the disconnect that often occurs between what a child says and how a parent interprets that message.

"When you knock on doors you ask a parent, 'Has he ever talked about wanting to kill himself or made a plan to do so?' Four or 5 percent of parents will say yes. But then when you follow up, 'Has he seen anyone for that,' they'll say no two out of three times," Jensen said.

Jensen said part of the problem is that parents don't always recognize when the threats or behaviors their children display aren't normal.

The 11 action steps listed in Mayo's tool kit are designed to make these situations very clear. For example a child who has severe Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is described in these 17 words: "extreme difficulty in concentrating or staying still that puts you in physical danger or causes school failure".

"Once you describe them that way, then it's pretty easy to say, 'Yeah, I guess he is that way and he did fail,' or 'Yeah, he's running out in front of cars. I guess that's pretty clear,'" Jensen said.

The Mayo tool kit project received substantial funding from the federal government's Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

Gary Blau, a clinical psychologist who is chief of the administration's Child, Adolescent and Family Branch, said 50 percent of serious mental health conditions manifest themselves by the age of 14. He said that's why the new "action signs" need to be distributed widely in an attempt to reach anyone who works with children on a daily basis.

"About one in 10 youngsters has a serious mental health condition that impairs their functioning in either home or school or in the community. So we're talking about a large part of our population," he said.

The tool kit can't get out soon enough for Sandra Spencer, executive director of the National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health. Besides helping parents, Spencer thinks many family physicians and pediatricians would benefit from reading the 11 action signs.

She speaks from personal experience. When her son was a preschooler in the mid 1990s, he began acting out. Spencer shared all of his behavioral problems with her son's pediatrician over the years, but she said the doctor never seemed to know what to make of the behavior.

"It was very frustrating for many years to know that this wasn't typical and to feel like I wasn't being heard and to understand that the pediatrician didn't know enough either," she said.

Her son was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was a teenager. Spencer said her son lost a lot of potentially good years because no one was helping him.

"It really impedes everything. It affects their education. They don't learn as well. They get behind in school. They have social issues. They don't meet friends. They don't get along with people," Spencer said. "It really gets worse as the child goes on when they don't get the help, the treatment, the diagnosis and everything they need."

Mayo researchers say that their 11 action signs won't be able to identify every child with a mental health problem. In order to make the tool kit easy to use, they acknowledge that it isn't as comprehensive as they would prefer. But they estimate that the tool kit will identify at least half of the children who are currently undiagnosed.

Here are the signs parents should look for:

• Feeling very sad or withdrawn for more than two weeks.

• Seriously trying to harm or kill yourself, or making plans to do so.

• Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing.

• Involvement in many fights, using a weapon, or wanting to badly hurt others.

• Severe out-of-control behavior that can hurt yourself or others.

• Not eating, throwing up, or using laxatives to make yourself lose weight.

• Intense worries or fears that get in the way of your daily activities.

• Extreme difficulty in concentrating or staying still that puts you in physical danger or causes school failure.

• Repeated use of drugs or alcohol.

• Severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships.

• Drastic changes in your behavior or personality.

How Do I Cope With a Teenager with OCD?

By Owen Kelly, Ph.D.

Question: How Do I Cope With a Teenager with OCD?

Teenagers can be a challenge at the best of times. However, when your teenage son or daughter has OCD, it can present additional challenges. Parents often ask, how do I help my teenage son/daughter with OCD?

Answer:

Teenagers with OCD may have a number of problems that can make treatment of symptomsdifficult.

Your Teen Refuses to be Assessed and/or Treated for OCD: Teenagers often refuse to go for assessment and treatment for OCD. This is often related to the stigma of being diagnosed with a mental illness. They may also worry about falling behind in school or have concerns about the side effects of OCD medications. In addition, like many people with OCD, your teen may have poor insight into the nature and severity of their symptoms and may not see the need to seek treatment.

How to Cope: Try to find a therapist who is skilled inmotivational interviewing techniques. These are designed to help enhance motivation for change and reduce negative feelings towards treatment through education. These techniques may also help your teen gain insight into the impact of their symptoms.

Above all, it is important to remember that forcing someone to change simply does not work. Just being there as a source of support for when they do decide to seek treatment is often the best option -- constant nagging and confrontation often makes the situation worse.

You Have Become Involved in Your Teen's Compulsions: Many teenagers with OCD have managed to get their parents involved in their compulsions. This could involve things like helping with a cleaning ritual, agreeing to arrange items in the house a certain way, or providing excessive reassurance (e.g., telling your teen over and over again that their hands or clean or that nothing bad will happen). This can cause burnout and frustration as parents grow tired of participating in rituals and/or continually providing reassurance for the same problems.

How to Cope: Ideally, you should have no involvement in your child's compulsions nor should you continue to provide reassurance once you have given initial feedback to your child. Participating in compulsions only reinforces their importance -- likewise, providing excessive reassurance validates the worries that accompany OCD. Many parents go along with their teen's compulsions so that teen will not feel distressed. However, it is important to realize that in the long run, this does much more harm than good.

It can often be helpful to work with a mental health professional to identify problematic OCD behaviors. Moreover, involving family members in treatment can be helpful.

Your Teen Becomes Enraged/Violent When Prevented From Participating in an OCD Ritual: Many pleasant, otherwise well-adjusted teens with OCD become very angry when prevented from carrying out an OCD ritual. In some cases, this can lead to physical confrontations between the parent and teen or destruction of property.

How to Cope: It is important to remember that in the vast majority of cases, this anger is driven by fear, anxiety and frustration, rather than aggression. Your teen is simply feeling overwhelmed and has run out of coping resources. It can often be helpful to engage an objective third-party, such as an OCD therapist, who can work with your teen in a non-judgmental environment to explore the nature of their obsessions and compulsions. The therapist can then work with your teen to put coping strategies in place and work to reduce the frequency of compulsions.

If you are tackling this alone, your best strategy may be to simply walk away until you and your teen have calmed down. You can then discuss the matter rationally.

Your Teen Will Not Discuss Their OCD Symptoms With You: Teenagers are often reluctant to share details of their life with their parents at the best of times, and this secrecy can be even worse in teens with OCD. Symptoms of OCD can be embarrassing, particularly with respect to obsessions related to sexuality, which could involve parents, siblings, pets or other inappropriate figures.

How to Cope: You may have to accept that your teen will not be willing to share the nature of their symptoms with you. Respecting their privacy and providing a supportive, non-judgmental environment should they decide to open up is often the most helpful strategy in these circumstances. You may suggest that if they are not comfortable speaking with you, you will help them find a therapist they are comfortable with.

Although your teen may be willing to discuss their symptoms with their OCD therapist, keep in mind that in most cases the therapist is bound to maintain your child's confidentiality and will not share details with you unless they have their permission. This can be very frustrating for parents, but it is important to respect your child's right to privacy.

Your Teen is Using Drugs to Cope With Their OCD Symptoms: It is not uncommon for teens to use drugs and alcohol to cope with symptoms of OCD -- particularly if their OCD symptoms are accompanied by depression.

How to Cope: In these circumstances, it is advisable to seek professional assistance, as this can be a complex problem that requires the experience of trained mental health professionals. Your family doctor is often a good starting point to identify resources. It can be frustrating for your child to reject such assistance, but unless they are a danger to themselves or someone else, they cannot be forced into treatment. Setting firm boundaries at home (e.g., not allowing drugs/drug use in the house) and managing your own stress levels are paramount in these instances.

My Teen is Being Bullied at School Because of Their OCD: Unfortunately, some teens with OCD are subjected to psychological and/or physical bullying. This can be extremely stressful for both parents and the affected teen, and can lead to depression. Of course, depression increases the risk of self-harm behaviors, including suicide.

How to Cope: If you become aware of bullying, it is essential to engage the appropriate professionals at your teen's school, including the school principal, guidance counselor, and your child's teacher. While your teen needs to be taught assertiveness skills for dealing with such situations, they also need to feel safe and confront such problems in a supportive environment. Individual therapy can helpful for focusing on building self-esteem, working on social skills, and of course, managing OCD symptoms.

Teen 'Self Medication' For Depression Leads To More Serious Mental Illness, Report Reveals

Millions of American teens report experiencing weeks of hopelessness and loss of interest in normal daily activities and many of these depressed teens are using marijuana and other drugs, making their situation worse, according to a new White House report released today. The report, from the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP), reveals that marijuana use can worsen depression and lead to more serious mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, anxiety, and even suicide.

Research shows that some teens are using drugs to alleviate feelings of depression ("self-medicating"), when in fact, using marijuana can compound the problem. The report, released to coincide with May's Mental Health Awareness Month, shows a staggering two million teens felt depressed at some point during the past year, and depressed teens are more than twice as likely as non-depressed teens to have used marijuana during that same period. Depressed teens are also almost twice as likely to have used illicit drugs as non-depressed teens. They are also more than twice as likely as their peers to abuse or become dependent on marijuana. Marijuana use is associated with depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide attempts.

"Marijuana is not the answer. Too many young people are making a bad situation worse by using marijuana in a misguided effort to relieve their symptoms of depression," said John P. Walters, Director, National Drug Control Policy. "Parents must not dismiss teen moodiness as a passing phase. Look closely at your teen's behavior because it could be a sign of something more serious."

Although marijuana use among teens has dropped by 25 percent since 2001, more teens use marijuana than all other illicit drugs combined. The new report, "Teen Marijuana Use Worsens Depression: An Analysis of Recent Data Shows 'Self-Medicating' Could Actually Make Things Worse," shows the following:

• Teens who smoke marijuana at least once a month are three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than non-users;
• Using marijuana can cause depression and other mental illnesses;
• The percentage of depressed teens is equal to the percentage of depressed adults, but depressed teens are more likely than depressed adults to use marijuana and other illicit drugs;
• Teen girls who use marijuana daily are more likely to develop depression than girls who do not use marijuana;
• Depressed teens are also more likely than non-depressed teens to engage in other risky behaviors such as daily cigarette use and heavy alcohol use.

"Don't be fooled into thinking that pot is harmless," said Dr. Drew Pinksy, internist, addiction expert, and host of VH1's Celebrity Rehab. "Marijuana is an addictive drug. Teens who are already depressed and use marijuana may increase their odds of suffering from even more serious mental health problems."

In fact, the potency of smoked marijuana has risen consistently over the past decades and higher potency translates into serious health consequences for teens. Some studies show that higher potency marijuana may be contributing to an increase in the number of American teens seeking treatment for marijuana dependence. The risks associated with recent and long-term marijuana use include schizophrenia, other forms of psychosis, and even suicide. "Not only are adolescents at greater risk for drug abuse, but they may suffer more consequences," said Nora D. Volkow, M. D., Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "There is also some evidence that in vulnerable teens-because of genetic factors-the abuse of marijuana can trigger a schizophreniform disorder."

ONDCP is urging parents to pay closer attention to their teen's behavior and mood swings, and recognize that marijuana and other drugs could be playing a dangerous role in their child's life. Parents can take some concrete steps to protect their teen from marijuana and other illicit drug use:

• Look closer at your teen's behavior-moodiness may not just be a passing phase; it could be sign of depression or drug use;
• Recognize the warning signs of drug use and depression, including carelessness with grooming, change in behavior and friends, loss of interest in daily activities, and withdrawal from family;
• Be more involved: monitor your teen's activities; ask questions and know how he or she spends time; set limits about drug use with clear rules and consequences for breaking them.

The above story is reprinted from materials provided by US National Drug Control Policy.

Teen Heroin Abuse: What's a mother and father to do?

Heroin abuse became almost extinct in teens during the 1980’s and 90’s, but as the new century dawned so did a new class of opiate pain pills often just called “Oxycotton” or Oxy’s.

Everyone started receiving these opiate pain pills any time they had surgery, had an athletic injury, for backpain and even for minor dental work. Many people started taking opiates.

Now everyone under 30 knows if you what “Oxycotton” is and often seek it when ever they’re in pain. Teens find it in their parents’ medicine cabinet and think it would be “fun” to try it. They are depressed and are hoping taking some “oxy” will perk them up and give them a “fun” high.

They take the “oxys” and fall in LOVE with the way it removes both physical and emotional pain. That’s the start of their addiction. They start buying it from their friends and using it every weekend for fun.

Begin to NEED more!

Their brain begins to adapt to the pills and they begin realize they want more of it and they start to become dependent on it. They begin to WANT IT every day… suddenly they NEED it everyday just to function. When they can no longer afford the very expensive pills they make a very dangerous decision. They switch to HEROIN and now they are in the big leagues they become teen heroin abuse.

This is the most common, currently, that teen heroin abuse and eventually addiction starts and the primary reason it is now at epidemic levels in teens.

Back to the original question, what can you as parents’ do to protect your children from this alluring be dangerous problem?

Learning as many FACTS about heroin and other opiates is a good place to start. Listed below is a list of facts about heroin that you need to know:

Teen heroin abuse facts

FACT: Heroin is an opiate, derived from morphine, which is produced from the Asian opium poppyplant.

FACT: Heroin comes most commonly as a white or brown powder, or as a black, tar-like substance.

FACT: Heroin is highly addictive. Approximately 23% of all people who try heroin will become addicted.

FACT: Heroin is injected, or snorted, or smoked. All three methods of use deliver the drug to the brain quickly.

FACT: Heroin depresses the central nervous system.

FACT: Heroin will produce a euphoric feeling, which is very alluring for Teen Heroin Abuse.

FACT: When heroin enters the brain it is converted into morphine and binds with the opioid receptors in the brain. These areas of the brain regulate reward and pain control.

FACT: Heroin also impacts the opioid receptors in the brain stem, which regulate breathing, blood pressure and arousal. Because of this, heroin overdoses often involve lack of respiration.

FACT: After experiencing the initial “rush” the user will likely become drowsy, or “on the nod” as it is called especially in Teen Heroin Abuse.

FACT: Heroin users develop a tolerance to the drug over time, thus more and more is needed to achieve the desired effect.

FACT: Because heroin users develop the tolerance and use more drug, they are susceptible to overdose after not using for a period of time. For example, after the drug is out of their system, the brain and body begin to get back to “normal,” but if the person goes back to using the same amount as they did before going off the drug, it could cause an overdose and death.

FACT: Heroin users who inject the drug are in jeopardy of contracting HIV/AIDS and hepatitis.

FACT: Chronic heroin use contributes to collapsed veins, destruction of the heart lining, liver andkidney disease.

FACT: Heroin sold on the street can be cut with toxic chemicals that cause damage to the brain and other vital organs. Teen heroin abuse usually means they don't really know what they're getting.

FACT: Heroin addiction is a brain disease. The body gets used to the presence of the drug and the brain is tricked into thinking that the drug is necessary.

FACT: When heroin users are denied access to their drug of choice, they experience withdrawal symptoms, which can be very unpleasant. These symptoms include, but are not limited to muscle andbone pain, restlessness, vomiting, insomnia, diarrhea, and involuntary muscle movements, such as leg kicking.

FACT: Heroin withdrawal symptoms should cease between 48 and 72 hours, but treatment centers offer medical detoxification, which will ease the withdrawal process and allow the user some physical comfort.

FACT: Some heroin users will display withdrawal symptoms for extended periods of time, even a month or more.

FACT: Heroin withdrawal, although unpleasant, is usually not fatal. However, if the user is in poor health, withdrawal could be fatal.

FACT: Heroin users crave the drug, even long after using. In much the same way as cocaine users crave the drug, the desire can be intense, even years after they have stopped using.

FACT: Heroin addiction is treatable.

FACT: Through a combination of medical and behavioral therapy, users can come off the drug and learn to live a healthy and productive life.

FACT: The two most common medical treatments for heroin addiction are Methadone and Bupremorphine. Methadone , a synthetic opiate, clings to the same receptors as the heroin, but it is designed to reduce the desire for the drug and lessens the withdrawal.

Bupremorphine has become more widely used in the last 10 years and does much the same job as methadone, only it blocks the opiate receptors and lessens the incidence of overdose. A third option is Naltrexone, which blocks opioids from clinging to their receptors, which means that the heroin does not take effect.

FACT: One size does not fit all in treating heroin addiction. Therefore, patients needs to have their own, individualized treatment program.

FACT: According to the Monitoring the Future Survey in 2009, 1.3% or 8th graders, 1.5% of 10th graders and 1.2% of 12th graders have used heroin at one time or another. Heroin is in our schools and is an ever-present danger to children.

Learning about Teen Heroin Abuse is essential

Most parents think that addiction will NEVER happen to their kid and that can often not be true. Understanding the recent heroin addiction epidemic will allow you to talk to your kids about the horrible consequences of drug use.

Also remember that actions speak MUCH louder than words. I had a patient addicted to heroin whose father and mother were both daily marijuana and alcohol users. This patient learned early that mind altering drug were acceptable. All of the discussion in the word couldn’t overcome the reality of the actions her parent took throughout her life.

Teens With Eating Disorders Benefit From Parents' Help

By Kathleen Doheny

When a teenager has an eating disorder, it's not just the teen's problem. It's a family problem.

So, parents should join in on the treatment, a growing number of experts believe.

With parental involvement, "the outcome is likely to be improved," said Dr. Ovidio Bermudez, medical director of the eating disorders program at Laureate Psychiatric Clinic and Hospital in Tulsa, Okla., and a member of the board of directors of the National Eating Disorders Association.

Nearly 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States have an eating disorder, according to the National Eating Disorders Association. Federal government statistics show that more than 90 percent of them are females aged 12 to 25.

People with bulimia binge eat and then purge, whereas those with anorexia nervosa limit food and become dangerously thin because they believe they're too heavy when, in fact, they're not.

But the thinking about the causes of eating disorders and their treatment has come full circle, Bermudez said. Many years ago, experts blamed eating disorders on controlling mothers and distant fathers, among other theories. But today they generally concur that the disorders are not due to those factors.

"We know now that eating disorders are real illnesses, not lifestyle choices," Bermudez said. And parents can play a crucial role in recovery, Bermudez and others now believe.

In fact, researchers found that teens were more able to control their disordered eating when they had family support.

One study involving 80 teens with bulimia put about half in a treatment program that included family therapy and the others in more traditional psychotherapy. Six months later, the success rate for those given family therapy was twice as great as it was for the others.

About 40 percent of teens whose families participated in their treatment had stopped bingeing and purging, compared with 18 percent of those treated without family involvement. The study was published in theArchives of General Psychiatry.

Another study, published in the journal Eating Disorders, followed 32 teenage girls with anorexia and found that 75 percent of them were in full remission three years after treatment that had included family therapy.

Just what does the treatment, generally known as behavioral family therapy, involve?

"The therapist works with the family to empower the family to get the [anorectic] child to eat the meals and recover the weight," Bermudez said. "The family becomes the agent of change."

He said that the approach has been studied more in anorexia than in bulimia but that it is used for both.

In bulimia, the parents' role at home would be to get their teen to eat regular meals so the teen doesn't binge then purge, Bermudez said.

It doesn't always work, he said, but it is generally viewed as promising and effective.

The approach did work for the daughter of Deborah, a 50-something mother in Orlando, Fla. She and her husband were stunned when their daughter, Allison, now 25, told them she needed help. "She had lost a lot of weight," Deborah recalled.

They sought help and participated in a family-centered treatment approach. "I was in the counseling session with Allison and the therapist," Deborah recalled. It helped her understand the disorder, she said, and how better to help.

But Deborah did much more than sit in the counseling sessions. "We built a team around Allison," she said. Besides the therapist, the team included the family doctor, a nutritionist, Allison and her parents.

Parents can take other steps to help a teen recover from an eating disorder. Suggestions include:

• Educate yourself. "I would sit up at night and read," Deborah said, "so I could understand Allison and what she was experiencing."
• Be there emotionally. For her daughter, Deborah recalled, knowing that she could count on her parents' aid and support helped a great deal.
• Don't be in denial. If you suspected your child had cancer, Bermudez asked, wouldn't you get help immediately? It's just as crucial for a suspected eating disorder.
• Follow directions."Listen to your treatment team," Bermudez tells parents. The best treatment plans are individualized.

Allison's family-centered treatment, begun at the start of her senior year in high school, was successful. In college, she began to speak on the topic and now heads up the junior board of directors for the National Eating Disorders Association.

More information

The National Eating Disorders Association has more for parents of teens with eating disorders.

Parents Challenging the Stoner’s Classic “Chill Defense”

By Neil Bernstein, Ph.D.

You’ve  probably heard this one many times.  The teenager insists that the reason he smokes marijuana is because it helps him to chill out.  Never mind the documented evidence of the risks, parental disapproval, and legal ramifications. “And why is it so important for you to smoke marijuana to relax?,” you might ask the young champion of chill.  Explanations range from reasonable — I’m stressed out from school or my parents are bugging me, to unrealistic — it just makes my life better.   Needless to say, challenging this “chill defense” is central to reducing and or stopping the teen’s marijuana use.

I no longer debate teenagers on whether marijuana really helps them to relax or not.  Unfortunately, in some ways it does, but there is a huge price to be paid: decreased motivation, memory impairment, and dependence.  Indeed, self-medication is not the road to success.  Teens must be confronted on why they have to smoke weed to relax, and more importantly, on why they can’t find more constructive ways to reduce their stress and deal with the family and school issues that plague them.  This is no simple matter, but it lies close to the heart of the issue. 

Indeed, stressed-out, lonely, angry, rebellious, and school-challenged kids are more susceptible to marijuana use.  So, why not take them at their word?  I don’t blame you for wanting to get stoned, I’ve told teenagers as a starting point.  But the stakes are way too high.  You’re smoking away life’s opportunities and you deserve better.  Surely, there must be other ways for you to unwind and deal with your parents getting on your case.   What have you got to lose by trying? 

Parents too, must help their misguided teens to find healthier ways to relieve their angst.  In recent years, I’ve spoken with quite a few parents who have had some success.  It goes something like this:  The parent tells their child that they won’t argue about marijuana for a while (they’ve often been arguing for months or even years) if the child agrees to get involved in ongoing constructive activities and address the issues at hand.  Naturally, the teen resists but is reminded of the heavy monitoring, restrictions, and whistle blowing he will face if his marijuana involvement continues. Reluctantly, he consents and gradually enters a world outside his “stoner circle” which proves to be more gratifying than his repetitive discussions of the virtues of marijuana and seeking opportunities to get high. 

Will this approach work for everyone?  Probably not, because sometimes, young people have grown so dependent on marijuana that they can’t break away from the culture and need more powerful interventions (e.g. therapy, drug treatment, and prevention programs).  But some teens can be weaned from their drug reliance through immersion in activities such as volunteer work, martial arts, relaxation focused exercises, creative pursuits, and outdoor adventures, to name but a few.  It’s certainly worth a try before bringing in the heavy artillery. 

And keep in mind that well-deserved and valued freedom, independence of thought, and self-worth are the natural enemy of negative peer influence and the illicit drugs which induce a false sense of well-being.

When Teens Lie About Drugs: A Guide for Parents

How to Help Your Daughter With a Drug Addiction

By Megan Smith

Drug addiction is a disease not unlike a cancer. It is impossible to take most drugs regularly without becoming addicted to them, and some individuals happen to be predisposed to addictive behaviors. Drug addiction usually refers to illegal drugs, but can also manifest itself in legal and over-the-counter drugs, including cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, and amphetamines, which are found in prescription drugs like Adderall and Dexedrine. If your daughter has a drug addiction, it is important that you act quickly in order to determine the right course of action for her, which usually involves detox and a rehabilitation clinic.

Instructions

1. • 1
     Bring things into the open. It may be difficult, but you must address your daughter directly. Tell her that you know she is addicted to drugs. Let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. The first step to her recovery is to make her realize that you know exactly what is going on. According to Dr. Andrew Byrne, "do offer sympathy and support," but "do not panic and pity."
   • 2
     If your daughter still continues to act out, contact her friends. Ask her friends what is going on. If they are not honest with you, tell them that you will be calling the police if this behavior continues. This will most likely cause your daughter to lose her drug connections.
   • 3
     Practice tough love. Don't be an enabler. If your daughter asks you for money and you give in--or you give her a free place to stay--you are the reason why she is getting drugs so easily. Refuse to give her money, no matter how much she begs, and do not let her do drugs in your home. Dr. Byrne suggests to "not give cash to the addict."
   • 4
     Tell her other family members. If your daughter has nowhere to turn, she will most likely hit rock bottom and decide she needs help. If she asks for help, be there for her and do anything she needs in order to get her from doing drugs. Make it clear that your family will not help her get drugs, but they will only help her get off of drugs. However, make sure you are the leader of the conversation, and distant family members do not get too involved with the process. According to Dr. Byrne, "it is best for relatives and others who are close to the addict not to offer advice, however tempting it may be."
   • 5
     If your daughter is under 18, place her in a rehabilitation clinic. Unfortunately, most clinics allow patients over 18 to sign themselves out. However, if she is under 18, this may be a solution. A drug addict must want to get off of drugs, however, so the stay may be unsuccessful. Tell her not to be discouraged. According to the Mayo Clinic, "it takes about three months before significant improvement occurs, so don't give up on your treatment program too soon." According to Dr. Byrne, "An old aphorism called the 'ten year rule' holds that most addicts consume drugs for a period of ten years before giving up." Although this is not a hard and fast rule, it is true that many addicts will need time to recover, and this is not an instantaneous process.

How Fathers Can Teach Their Sons about Addiction

BY ANNETTE HAZARD 

How you can help protect your kids from drug addiction, by telling them why you used.

Teaching children about addiction is tough. Back in the 1980s, we were told to “just say no” when we were offered drugs or alcohol. That looks great on paper, but in practice it doesn’t work as well as the Reagan Administration led us to believe. It’s hard for a young man to “just say no” to his closest friends when they offer him drugs or alcohol, and whether we want to admit it or not drugs and alcohol are glamorized to some extent by society. Fortunately, having a good father figure who understands the problems of addiction can go a long way to dissuade a young man from making a horrible mistake.

That might sound counterintuitive, but it’s good to explain why people try drugs for the first time.

There are plenty of things that fathers can do to teach their sons about addiction, many of which are more effective than telling them to “just say no.” The best way to prevent a young man from experimenting with drugs and alcohol is to just be honest with them. You can tell them what it’s like to use and abuse a particular substance, both the “good” parts and the consequences. Yes, there are “good” things about using drugs and alcohol; people wouldn’t use them if that wasn’t the case. That might sound counterintuitive, but it’s good to explain why people try drugs for the first time. Far too many young people are simply told that drugs are bad and that they should stay away from them; they often aren’t told why. When they see their friends enjoying themselves while on a particular drug, they might decide that what they were told before was “wrong” and that drug use isn’t so bad. This is of course a very dangerous opinion to have.

While you are being truthful about why drug use can be fun, you should also talk about the negative consequences. Tell your sons about how addiction has ruined lives in more ways than one. Tell them that drug habits can be expensive, or that they can get into serious legal trouble. Tell them that an addict’s life centers entirely on their drug of choice. Tell them how dangerous and painful withdrawal symptoms can be. Tell them about the countless people who have died from overdoses and the long process of rehab, which you can see at FreedomDrugRehab.com. Above all else, be honest. Maybe you can draw from things you may have experienced or witnessed, or maybe you will need to perform some research, but you should always tell the truth. Don’t embellish things to scare your sons. Children are smarter than many people realize, and they can spot exaggerations and lies from miles away.

Talking to your sons about the dangers of addiction can be very difficult, but it is something that must be done. Addiction can ruin even the most promising lives, and it is important that a father does all he can to keep his sons informed of that fact.

Teens and Drugs: What a Parent Can Do to Help

By MARIE HARTWELL-WALKER, ED.D.

(Although I’ll talk about this important issue in terms of a boy’s behavior, it could just as easily be about a girl.)

It’s an all too familiar story. A young teen who was once loveable, happy, a reasonably successful student and all around good kid has become surly, disrespectful and defiant. He is wearing the uniform of the druggies, sweatshirt hood drawn up over his face, pants hanging low. He spends hours in his room, uncommunicative. He spends even more hours out of the house, places unknown. He is often sleepy and red-eyed when he finally does come home. Any request for information is met with hostility. When you’ve searched his room, you have found drug-related paraphernalia and cryptic notes that are alarming. Old friends don’t call any more. The kids he is bringing around have reputations for finding trouble. Now your kid has found them.

No attempts to talk to him have helped. You have begged, pleaded, cried, scolded, and threatened. You have taken away privileges and things that are special to him. Maybe you’ve even had difficult talks with the school or the local police. Nothing seems to make an impression. You are watching your child disappear into the drug culture. The stakes are high. He’s playing with criminal behavior that could get him in jail and he’s putting things into his body that could kill him. You are right to be scared. You are right to fight for his life.

The first thing to do is to take a step back and analyze what is going on. Like most parents, you’ve probably been dealing with the symptoms (hair, dress, curfews, and contraband), not the deeper problems (feelings, peer pressures, family dynamics, addiction). You will be in a much better position to come up with solutions if you have a better idea of what the real problems are. See which of these possibilities, if any, fit.

Why Kids Get Involved with Drugs

Some kids become druggies because they can’t figure out another way to fit in. The entrance requirements for the drug clique are easy. Just use and buy drugs. Presto. You have a group to hang with. For kids who are lonely or feeling they don’t have what it takes to gain membership in another high school group, this is very, very seductive.

Some kids get in over their heads and don’t know how to get out.What started as a way to fit in takes on a life of its own. Other kids threaten them if they try to leave the group. I even know of kids who were told that the group would hurt their family if they didn’t steal, deal, and use. What looked like escalating criminal activity was really a frantic attempt to protect their family.

Some kids who use drugs are self-medicating. I’ve worked with several kids who discovered that they felt better when they tried marijuana at a party. They kept using because they liked the relief. It turned out that they were suffering from an untreated depression or a high level of anxiety. When we got them on proper medication, they no longer abused illegal drugs.

Some kids have the mistaken idea that in order to be okay they have to be better than other people. They know they can’t compete with the “good kids” in the family or at school. They have the idea that they can’t be a star in any area that counts to their peers. Their self-esteem then depends on finding at least some way to be “better” than other people. So they become the best at being worst. It may be painful but it works.

Some kids use drugs for all the attention it gets them. If he were the perfect child, would he get anywhere near the same amount of attention from you? Does he know that he would? Is it possibly true that he just doesn’t have any outstanding academic, sports or artistic talents but has ambitions for fame? In his discouragement, he may have turned to the only arena where he feels he can be successful. If being a star achiever isn’t possible, being a “gangsta” will have to do. From his point of view, at least he’ll be noticed.

Some kids are just plain bored. Playing with criminal behavior is exciting. The drama and risk of getting drugs, hiding them, using them, and maybe even selling them is its own kind of high. If he were seeing me for therapy, I’d be asking a kid like this how it is that he isn’t involved in something that gives him a “natural high”? What is he doing for excitement? What kind of risk-taking actually makes a kind of sense? What activity might stretch him beyond his comfort zone in a positive way?

Some kids think that using drugs is normal. They have friends whose parents smoke dope with them. They know adults who rationalize their own illegal drug use by stating that it is no worse than alcohol and should be legalized anyway. They watch TV and see ads for all kinds of medications for all kinds of ills. Feeling down? Take a drug. Can’t sleep? Pop a pill. Can’t have sex? There’s a drug for that too. Some movies glorify the drug culture. Some music makes it all sound very, very cool. Parents need to model meeting challenges in other ways. We need to teach our kids about the satisfaction and excitement that comes from stretching ourselves and succeeding.

And, of course, there is the possibility of a true addiction. It’s simply not true that kids don’t develop a dependence on marijuana. Some do. It’s also possible that you don’t know what else your kid has been taking.

What’s a Parent To Do?

I wish there were easy answers to this. There aren’t. Every kid is different. Every family has different capacities. But perhaps these principals will give you something to work with.

First: Love him. Love him. Love him. Even though it may seem to you that a body snatcher has come along and taken the place of your child, this is your son. Try to find ways to put aside your anger, fear, and disappointment. Let him know that the reason you are angry and afraid is that you care deeply about him. Catch him being good as much as you can. Give him a hug and a pat at least a couple of times a day, even if you don’t feel like it. Without the current of love and caring that runs between parent and child, you can’t have influence.

Find his strengths: Identify the things that are going well, however small. These are the things you can build on to develop better self-esteem and better communication. Does he obey you at all? Does he give you a hug now and then or respond to one from you? Does he come to dinner with the family? Share any news? Laugh at a joke? Anything like this means that he is not totally disengaged from the family. Remember this to give yourself hope and encouragement. Compliment him whenever you can to strengthen the connection between you.

Now talk to him. Talk. Do not scold, preach, yell, or threaten. Just talk. And listen. Let him know that you are sorry that you two got locked into warfare when what you wanted was to look after his welfare. Share your guesses about the underlying causes and see what he thinks. See if he will engage with you around solving the problem. He might. Be prepared to return to the discussion over several days and weeks.

Reassure him: Let him know that you see through the bad behavior to the talented, smart kid he is. He doesn’t have to meet some abstract standard of perfection or compete with anyone else for your love or attention. He is valued for who he is. Be prepared to tell him honestly what you think his strengths really are. Ask him what he has in mind for himself? What would help him realize those dreams? How can you help?

Try to get him involved with something he likes that will put him into a different group and take up his time in a positive way. He needs new ways to feel good about himself. Work behind the scenes and get someone else to call him with an offer or an idea. (Remember, a kid his age doesn’t generally want to take suggestions from his parents.) Is there a coach who would be willing to recruit him for a team? Is there a kids program that needs teen helpers? Do you have a friend who would be willing to hire him?

Make an appointment with a psychiatrist who is familiar with substance abuse for a comprehensive evaluation. Let your son know that sometimes people get involved with illegal drugs because there is something legitimate going on. You care enough about him to find out.

Get engaged with the school. School guidance people have seen lots of kids like your son. They have also seen lots of parents who have abdicated their responsibility for their teens. They don’t know that you are a concerned parent unless you tell them. There may be a substance abuse program connected to the school. If so, this is no time for false pride. You need their help. Take advantage of what help is offered.

Get your extended family to help in a positive way. Saving a child is a family project. Tell them it doesn’t help for them to tell you, or him, all the ways he is going wrong. You know that. He knows that. What you need from them is practical help. Can they take him along on weekend outings? Are any of his adult relatives doing something he’d like to learn? Are there any younger cousins who look up to him who would like his attention?

Find out who the other parents are: It generally helps when parents band together. There are probably at least a few of his friends with parents who are as concerned as you are. Get together and brainstorm ways to get your kids busier with positive things. Take turns taking the kids to events, or tutoring them, or coming up with jobs. If you can agree on consistent rules about curfews and responsibilities, the kids will be less able to use the old excuse of “everybody else’s parent let’s their kid . . .” Most important, you can build a support system for yourselves.

Let him know, calmly, that the rules are the rules. Your son is engaging in illegal and risky behavior. Remind him that it is a parent’s job to help their kids grow up physically healthy and emotionally strong and you intend to do your part. You don’t want him to go to jail, overdose and get sick, or die. You will therefore never get off his back about drugs. But perhaps together you can figure out where you can back off. Hair style? Clothing choices? Work together to set reasonable rules for your home.

Figure out what you will and won’t do if he gets into legal trouble.Will you get a lawyer to help or is he on his own? Calmly tell him what those limits are – and mean it. Then be prepared to follow through. Some kids seem to need to test all the limits. You can’t force him to be a law-abiding citizen. But you can go with him to court and quietly be there for him while he deals with whatever the justice system decides to do. Although I would never recommend jail time as therapeutic, it’s an unfortunate truth that it is what it takes for some kids to get it. Maintaining the relationship will give you a shot at helping him turn things around when he gets out.

Consider finding a therapist who specializes in teen substance abuse: A column like this one can only give you very general ideas. It is no substitute for talking with someone who can help you take a look at the total situation. If your son won’t go, go yourself. An experienced therapist will be able to help you figure out how to approach your son and what you can do for him – and for yourself.

You are probably asking just how you will have time for all of this. You probably don’t want to have to do any of it. You probably wish it would just all go away. I don’t blame you a bit. There are few things as difficult or as frustrating as maintaining our love and our cool when a teen is doing everything in his power to drive us away. This is the ultimate test of our own adulthood and our own character. Like most tests, it isn’t fun or easy.

You are fighting for your child’s life because you love him. You probably couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t at least try your best to save him. The truth is that you’re already spending time and emotional energy saying things and doing things that haven‘t been effective. It’s possible that if you direct the time you are already spending a little differently, you will start to get better results. With support for yourself, a lot of love for him, and more than a little luck, you may help your teen figure out that being drug-involved gets him nowhere except in trouble. You are there to show him the way.

What’s a Parent To Do?

I wish there were easy answers to this. There aren’t. Every kid is different. Every family has different capacities. But perhaps these principals will give you something to work with.
First: Love him. Love him. Love him. Even though it may seem to you that a body snatcher has come along and taken the place of your child, this is your son. Try to find ways to put aside your anger, fear, and disappointment. Let him know that the reason you are angry and afraid is that you care deeply about him. Catch him being good as much as you can. Give him a hug and a pat at least a couple of times a day, even if you don’t feel like it. Without the current of love and caring that runs between parent and child, you can’t have influence.
Find his strengths: Identify the things that are going well, however small. These are the things you can build on to develop better self-esteem and better communication. Does he obey you at all? Does he give you a hug now and then or respond to one from you? Does he come to dinner with the family? Share any news? Laugh at a joke? Anything like this means that he is not totally disengaged from the family. Remember this to give yourself hope and encouragement. Compliment him whenever you can to strengthen the connection between you.
Now talk to him. Talk. Do not scold, preach, yell, or threaten. Just talk. And listen. Let him know that you are sorry that you two got locked into warfare when what you wanted was to look after his welfare. Share your guesses about the underlying causes and see what he thinks. See if he will engage with you around solving the problem. He might. Be prepared to return to the discussion over several days and weeks.
Reassure him: Let him know that you see through the bad behavior to the talented, smart kid he is. He doesn’t have to meet some abstract standard of perfection or compete with anyone else for your love or attention. He is valued for who he is. Be prepared to tell him honestly what you think his strengths really are. Ask him what he has in mind for himself? What would help him realize those dreams? How can you help?
Try to get him involved with something he likes that will put him into a different group and take up his time in a positive way. He needs new ways to feel good about himself. Work behind the scenes and get someone else to call him with an offer or an idea. (Remember, a kid his age doesn’t generally want to take suggestions from his parents.) Is there a coach who would be willing to recruit him for a team? Is there a kids program that needs teen helpers? Do you have a friend who would be willing to hire him?
Make an appointment with a psychiatrist who is familiar with substance abuse for a comprehensive evaluation. Let your son know that sometimes people get involved with illegal drugs because there is something legitimate going on. You care enough about him to find out.
Get engaged with the school. School guidance people have seen lots of kids like your son. They have also seen lots of parents who have abdicated their responsibility for their teens. They don’t know that you are a concerned parent unless you tell them. There may be a substance abuse program connected to the school. If so, this is no time for false pride. You need their help. Take advantage of what help is offered.
Get your extended family to help in a positive way. Saving a child is a family project. Tell them it doesn’t help for them to tell you, or him, all the ways he is going wrong. You know that. He knows that. What you need from them is practical help. Can they take him along on weekend outings? Are any of his adult relatives doing something he’d like to learn? Are there any younger cousins who look up to him who would like his attention?


Find out who the other parents are: It generally helps when parents band together. There are probably at least a few of his friends with parents who are as concerned as you are. Get together and brainstorm ways to get your kids busier with positive things. Take turns taking the kids to events, or tutoring them, or coming up with jobs. If you can agree on consistent rules about curfews and responsibilities, the kids will be less able to use the old excuse of “everybody else’s parent let’s their kid . . .” Most important, you can build a support system for yourselves.
Let him know, calmly, that the rules are the rules. Your son is engaging in illegal and risky behavior. Remind him that it is a parent’s job to help their kids grow up physically healthy and emotionally strong and you intend to do your part. You don’t want him to go to jail, overdose and get sick, or die. You will therefore never get off his back about drugs. But perhaps together you can figure out where you can back off. Hair style? Clothing choices? Work together to set reasonable rules for your home.
Figure out what you will and won’t do if he gets into legal trouble.Will you get a lawyer to help or is he on his own? Calmly tell him what those limits are – and mean it. Then be prepared to follow through. Some kids seem to need to test all the limits. You can’t force him to be a law-abiding citizen. But you can go with him to court and quietly be there for him while he deals with whatever the justice system decides to do. Although I would never recommend jail time as therapeutic, it’s an unfortunate truth that it is what it takes for some kids to get it. Maintaining the relationship will give you a shot at helping him turn things around when he gets out.
Consider finding a therapist who specializes in teen substance abuse: A column like this one can only give you very general ideas. It is no substitute for talking with someone who can help you take a look at the total situation. If your son won’t go, go yourself. An experienced therapist will be able to help you figure out how to approach your son and what you can do for him – and for yourself.
You are probably asking just how you will have time for all of this. You probably don’t want to have to do any of it. You probably wish it would just all go away. I don’t blame you a bit. There are few things as difficult or as frustrating as maintaining our love and our cool when a teen is doing everything in his power to drive us away. This is the ultimate test of our own adulthood and our own character. Like most tests, it isn’t fun or easy.
You are fighting for your child’s life because you love him. You probably couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t at least try your best to save him. The truth is that you’re already spending time and emotional energy saying things and doing things that haven‘t been effective. It’s possible that if you direct the time you are already spending a little differently, you will start to get better results. With support for yourself, a lot of love for him, and more than a little luck, you may help your teen figure out that being drug-involved gets him nowhere except in trouble. You are there to show him the way out.